The Struggle is Real...

Over the past month since losing my job, I've really been struggling with some larger decisions that are in front of me. As I said in my first blog post, I was planning to move to Colorado and had I not quit/lost my job, I would have already made the move within the last week or so. I know that's where I'm supposed to go, but I hate not knowing WHEN I should take that step now that the original plan has changed. I don't want to move too soon and end up in a situation where I have no job, no money, no family around to help, but at the same time, I need to find a job ASAP and if I'm going to be in SD longer than another month or two, I have to find something here to pay the bills. I've been praying and asking God for direction and timing, but do you ever have those moments where you feel like God isn't speaking and you don't even know if He's listening? My aunts church put on an Easter play and they touched on this subject; the struggle with not hearing, not knowing, not feeling His presence and how you begin to doubt, lose hope, lose faith. I know that expecting an audible response is highly unlikely, but I need to know that I'm making the right choice or at feel some sort of God breathed direction. I have made so many bad/wrong/selfish/blind decisions in my adult life and although the earth didn't stop spinning and I survived even when I chose the "long way", I want to avoid any extra heartache/difficulties/stressful times when at all possible, I want to choose the right path for once and not make the decision I think is best, but KNOW that I'm making the right choice that God would want me to choose without a doubt.

And then there's that tricky thing called faith! If I'm praying and asking God to direct my path and help me make the right decision, then faith would have me believe that God will do just that and I shouldn't stress because I'll make the right decision if my heart is open to His leading. I should be confident in my decision making and trust that God will direct my path, which also means that the decision I make will be God breathed. Right???

I'm so much better at making the decisions when there is a clear right and wrong in front of me, but when all options seem to be good ones and God could lead you to choose any of them, that's where I struggle lol and I bet I'm not the only one! It's hard!

In the meantime, I will just continue to pray for the right doors to open at the right time and go from there...

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