Heart for the Journey

My church did a week of fasting leading up to Good Friday and I felt that God was calling me to participate. I've done a Facebook fast before, but never fasted from food. I think God was asking me to rely on Him and to look to Him for  guidance with my eating habits since I've struggled to do so on my own. Not that I eat totally unhealthy, I don't eat fast food and I stopped drinking soda back in 2009, but I was still eating foods filled with fat and sugar and white flour. So during the week of fasting, I avoided all solid food for the first 2 days...I had smoothies, yogurt and lots of water. For the remaining 3 days I did a juice cleanse to reset my system and rid it of processed sugars and toxins. I had one "hangry" day where I was exhausted and extremely irritable, but it passed and I was able to complete my 5 days of fasting without any crazy incidents lol Since then, I have been really good at choosing better options, reading labels (sugar is in EVERYTHING) a...

I was born in March 1980 to a young single mom, she had just turned 19 two months prior. My grandma was there beside her every step of the 36 hours it took for me to make my appearance; supposedly a "Joshua", there was much surprise when a girl popped out instead! My mom didn't have a name picked out for me since she was sure I was a boy, so my name is actually comprised of my moms middle name and my grandmas middle name. I was a big baby with a big head, but from what I'm told, was admired by all of the nurses for being so beautiful and having ruby red lips. My grandma was born Marie Louise Simone Barclay in Paris, France sometime in the 1930's or possibly the late 20's...she refused to tell anyone her actual birth year! lol Her father died in the war when she was a young girl and she subsequently lost her mother and little sister shortly after. She was taken in by her paternal grandmother, but when she grew tired of having a young child in her home, s...

What a difference a year makes! This morning I logged in and decided to read my old blog posts and wow, how much my life has changed in one year. Some bad and a whole lotta good, God is redeeming my life and restoring my heart! It's been an amazing, but difficult journey.  About 2 months ago, God began stirring my heart to write my story, but as much as I find that to be therapeutic, there's also some fear wrapped up in that. I haven't had the easiest life and most of my "issues" stem from childhood, like most of us. I'm not ashamed to tell my story, but my story is intertwined with the lives of others and that's where the fear creeps in. What will my mom do or say if/when she stumbles across my blog since most of what I went through involves her in some way? What will my family think when my "dirty laundry" is aired out in public and all of my horrible choices and mistakes are revealed? What will my friends say, old and new, who don't know...