Heart for the Journey

  In my previous post, I shared a brief overview of what spiritual abuse can look like in a church, and how narcissistic leadership and a toxic honor culture can intensify an already unhealthy environment. I also shared a bit of my personal story. If you're interested in reading more about that, you can check out that post here . Stepping out of an unhealthy church can leave you feeling deeply unsettled. You may find yourself distrusting others — and even yourself — questioning whether what you're feeling is normal. Hurt, anger, bitterness, grief — let me reassure you: those feelings are completely valid. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. You should be able to trust your pastor and the leaders who serve the church. They’re called to be shepherds — to tend to and care for the flock. So when the very people who are meant to protect you are the ones who cause harm, it can shake you to your core. It’s not just a breach of trust; it’s a spiritual wound. And for ma...

  Over the past few years, we’ve seen more and more stories surface about churches and pastors caught up in scandals, abuse, or just deeply unhealthy leadership. And honestly? It’s heartbreaking—but not shocking. Just because someone calls themselves a pastor or ministry leader doesn’t mean they’re above making mistakes. No one is perfect. But I think a lot of us still carry the expectation that those who lead in God’s name will live with a deep sense of integrity and humility. And they should. If you’re stepping into a role where people are trusting you with their hearts, their stories, and their spiritual formation—you better be surrounding yourself with wise, grounded people who will call you out when needed, who speak the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s true for all of us. We all need people in our lives who will challenge us in love, especially when we’re about to drift into something unhealthy. The truth is, a church can’t be healthy if its leaders aren’t first wil...