The struggle is real, but so is God!

I continue to struggle with abundance, yet I'm also seeing God move. It's crazy to me how a word like "abundance" can manifest in both a negative and positive way. There are two sides to every coin and that's exactly what I'm experiencing. God is bringing to light the abundance of junk that still resides in my heart, but He's also showering me with His love and truth, forgiveness and mercy. Discipline can hurt in the moment, but it's for our own good and brings about a change in behavior.

As I write this I'm listening to a song called "God's Not Done With You" by Tauren Wells...God is so good at showing up whenever I need Him, especially when I'm struggling to open up and be vulnerable in my writing.

"God's Not Done With You"

Standing in your ruins, feels a lot like the end
So used to losing, you're afraid to try again
Right now all you see are ashes when I was a flame
The truth is that you're not forgotten
'Cause grace knows your name

God's not done with you
Even with your broken heart and your wounds and your scars
God's not done with you
Even when you're lost and it's hard and you've fallen apart
God's not done with you
It's not over, it's only begun
So don't hide, don't run
'Cause God's not done with you

There's a light you don't notice
Until you're standing in the dark
And there's a strength that's growing
Inside your shattered heart

God's not done with you
Even with your broken heart and your wounds and your scars
God's not done with you
Even when you're lost and it's hard and you've fallen apart
God's not done with you
It's not over, it's only begun
So don't hide, don't run
'Cause God's not done with you
He's not done with you

He's got a plan
He's gonna finish what He started
He's got a plan
He's gonna finish what He started
He's not done
God's not done writing your story
No, He's not done
God's not done with you
God's not done with you

God's not done with you
Even when you're lost and it's hard and you've fallen apart
God's not done with you
It's not over, it's only begun
So don't hide, don't run
'Cause God's not done with you

I think so many of us are afraid to experience pain and suffering. As soon as things get hard or our feelings get hurt, we shut down, we pull away, we hide. But if I learned anything of worth in 2017 it's that pain brings strength, pain prepares us for purpose, pain allows us to one day help others who are experiencing what you've already walked through in your own life. We are called to persevere and run with endurance...no where in the Bible does it say that when pain comes our way we should retreat, build walls and never trust or open up to anyone ever again. As humans with feelings, it's normal to want to protect ourselves when we get hurt, but that's not where we are supposed to camp out long term. We are told to lay our burdens down at the feet of Jesus, let Him come in and love on us and bring healing, and then we need to get off our mat and walk! While it's easier said than done, I refuse to allow the enemy to keep me down by making me feel like my only option is to run...run back to what's comfortable, run back into hiding, run back to my old ways, run back to my unhealthy coping mechanisms. "Stop looking in the rear view mirror, you're not going that way."

I don't know about you, but knowing that God's not done with me yet, that He's still writing my story and He will finish what He has started brings so much hope to my heart. When I feel like a failure, when I feel like I'm stuck or getting in my own way, God is still singing over me and speaking love into my heart. He knows I'm a work in progress and it's not in His nature to turn away from me because I'm not perfect and I still continue to struggle through all my junk and insecurities. He's never going to let me go, NO MATTER WHAT!!!



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