Man, life is tough sometimes!

It's always so crazy to me how much life can change in just a matter of days. Time just flies by and decisions are made on a minute by minute basis and can totally change the direction of your life.

My brother who's been staying with me until he got called into rehab made the decision to forgo an inpatient program. My heart broke big time! While he continues to make the decision to steer clear of drugs, I am still so worried about him. The one thing I wanted for him through this program was to get counseling and learn to recognize his red flags/triggers that would lead him to succumb to drug use again. He has so many issues from childhood and I had hoped he'd be able to deal with some of that to help him realize why he has chosen drugs all these years to mask the heartache and not give a rip about himself. All I can do right now is pray that he continues to make better decisions and doesn't go back to that lifestyle, but part of me also knows that when someone is weak, hurt, or angry, we make poor decisions and unless we face whatever comes our way and make the choice to work through it, the temptation to run/hide/mask has a powerful persuasion to avoid dealing with life and feeling the emotions that come with it. I gave everything I had to help him over this past month, but there's only so much I can do now that he has made this choice and moved out of my home. Argh! I am struggling big time!

I feel like I've been knocked off a horse lol I thought my life was headed in one direction and now I feel like I have no direction. My heart wants to move to Colorado because I do feel that I'm supposed to end up there, but part of me is craving the familiar and wants to go back to Sacramento. It's a struggle because I wanna make the right choices for my life, but I feel as if I'm getting nowhere...no direction, no guidance, no open doors. Maybe Colorado is off in the distance and Sacramento is for now, I don't know. I do know that I don't want to keep moving around, as much as I enjoy landing in different places, I want to settle down eventually and grow some roots in one city. What to do, what to do?!?

Do you ever feel like you have several options before you, but don't know which path to take? What did you do to decide? Do you feel you made the right choice or did you regret the path you took?

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